The Three Stooges

I loved this movie! This is as close as they can't get!

It's been fun reading the "professional" critics try and conjure up eloquent paragraphs describing what is nothing more than a slapstick, bare-bones comedy. There was never any more depth to the original Three Stooges than what is present in this recreation or tribute or whatever it is.

The story is cornball, which is what the Three Stooges were in the first place. This movie still portrays them as knuckleheads, but brings them forward into current times with their behavior stunted due to their stay at an orphanage. The way that others interact with them is basically the same as it was in the original shorts. Modern culture looks at the them as freaks which is the same way it did in the old black and white Stooges' features. It really worked for me because I "got" the Stooges' physical violence carried forward into the politically correct current day. And you know, it's still funny.

The most amazing thing is how well the actors (Chris Diamantopoulos, Sean Hayes, Will Sasso) recreate the original Curly, Moe, and Larry. Their performances are nearly perfect and the gags are spot-on.

About the best thing I can say about this is that Sean Hayes, Will Sasso and Chris Diamantopoulos are spot-on in their portrayals of the witless titular trio. They nail the mannerisms and vocalizations of the three so completely, it's actually a bit spooky - ghost watching on the same level as Jim Carrey's take on Andy Kaufman in Man on the Moon. Problem is, those performances are blown on a tale that's gratingly predictable, horribly misdirected and woefully, thoroughly unfunny.

For some unfathomable reason, the troupe is dropped without any modification into the present, where their slapstick Vaudeville act is over-amped and completely out of place. I get that nobody on the planet was clamoring for a reinvention of this particular wheel, but when the script's so desperate for validation it shoehorns in the cast of Jersey Shore for more than just a cameo, maybe it's time to take a step back and reassess.

It's a total disaster, not just missing the boat but careening off the pier and plummeting to the bottom of the ocean. If this is the best revival modern Hollywood can come up with for three legends, they should take a long, hard look at their motives before they go about plundering any more graves.

"This is probably the worst piece of s*** i've ever seen."

+100

90%? How the...?

This reminds me of the *super funny* "Oh My Balls!" show from Idiocracy.

Oh my balls...